Unemployment: Her Point of View

Unemployment: Her Point of View

Recently, I shared the man's point of view when it comes to being unemployed. In this post, I want to share how the wife of an unemployed man feels when she's trying so hard to keep it all together.

Unemployment isn't just something that impacts the man of the house. It definitely takes a toll on the family, particularly the woman of the home.

Guys, if you're out of work and have stumbled across this post, my hope is that you'll have a better understanding for why your wife is behaving the way she does. It might be a good time to have a heart to heart with her and offer some reassurance because fear and uncertainty are the two greatest factors that fuel how she's feeling.

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Unemployment: Her Point of View

  • She feels afraid. Afraid of not having enough money for groceries to feed the kids. Afraid of not having enough money to pay the mortgage. Afraid of not having enough money to keep the lights on.
  • She feels deeply concerned for her husband. She knows he's struggling emotionally, but she also sees him letting those emotions spiral out of control into depression, and quite frankly, there's no time to be depressed. She wants her man to stay on his game and keep persevering toward future employment.
  • She feels like her life is falling apart. Financial hardship prevents family goals and desires from being met, and she doesn't really recognize her husband anymore. Since being out of work, he's different. His mood has changed and his drive seems to be missing. It's as if he no longer cares at all about the goals and dreams they once shared together. ┬áIn her mind, this isn't living happily ever after.
  • She feels angry when she sees her husband taking some time to watch TV, play a video game, or read a book. She wishes he would never stop looking for employment. Never. At least not until he's back to work. And even then, she feels he should always have a backup in mind so living this nightmare won't be an issue again in the future.
  • She feels like her husband doesn't care anymore. She can't possibly understand why he doesn't seem to have a Plan B, and it infuriates her when he behaves with a carefree attitude. She would love for him to just show some sign that he is in fact putting forth all efforts possible to look for work.
  • She feels zero sexual desire. This has nothing to do with whether or not she's still attracted to her husband. It has everything to do with the amount of stress clouding her mind, which by the way, is also overflowing with her never ending homemaking responsibilities. She's mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.
  • She feels she's doing everything and her husband is doing nothing. Even if that isn't the reality, she still feels that way, because chances are she's doing ten times the work as a mother, wife, church volunteer, friend, homemaker, shopper, cook, employee (in some cases) and overall family cheerleader than her man is doing when he helps out by taking out the trash or watching the kids for an hour.
  • She feels like God has abandoned her.
  • She feels like she and her marriage are being judged by her good friends, her parents, her co-workers, and the grocery store clerk who has to be told she's paying with EBT card before the transaction can go through.
  • She feels hopeless and alone. If she talks to her man about all of these fears, it will only send him into a deeper depression, so she holds it all in. Her friends and family all think they have the answers and many don't really even understand because they haven't lived it themselves. She needs support and just doesn't know who to turn to.

Men, if you're out of work, stop reading this and go give your wife a big hug. This isn't all about you. She is very much feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders too. Go, reassure her that you do care, that you are trying, that everything will be okay. Then pray with her. Together, seek God's comfort and peace. Ask for His strength and wisdom. Go forward taking steps of faith for yourself and for your family. God's got this. Trust Him.







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